Felid Bathory ([personal profile] loveschildren) wrote2014-09-22 01:16 pm

(no subject)

PSL shit
hewhofightsmonsters: (103)

[personal profile] hewhofightsmonsters 2014-09-22 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[The only thing Glen's really wanted since they've come back is to die. He feels hollowed out, all the defining parts of him carved from his chest and replaced with foreign, unpleasant and unwanted feelings. He hates Felid. He hates him more than he thought it was possible to hate anything. But at the same time, ever since that, he can't deny the aching need to be with him, the fear of being left alone, the warmth when he receives "affection" that's usually violent and always degrading. It doesn't feel like him, and his mind denies it, but he can't remove that alteration to his heart no matter how much he wants to. And he can't remove the alteration to his body, either -- he won't let himself fall so far as to become a demon, but the knowledge that his humanity has been stolen from him hammers at him constantly, with every little sensation that feels so different in a changed form.

He can't have anything back. All of his hopes and dreams are gone. He's been twisted into a sick parody of himself and all his "family" and "friends" can't reach him anymore.

But it's very hard to commit suicide as a vampire, and Felid won't let him besides. So after a couple of weeks he's given up and has simply become listless, hiding away in the disgustingly decadent room he's been provided and chasing his thoughts around a mind that seems absurdly empty with only him in it. He's pretty sure he's lost his grip on any sanity that was left before he hid in himself that time. But it doesn't really matter when he's alone with himself and Felid, and he still adamantly refuses to have anything to do with the rest of the city or any possible attempts to get him to be part of society (and especially part of the anti-human efforts).

It's fine. If he can't disappear, he'll sit here and rot.]

What do you want now?

[When Felid comes in, he is, as usual, curled up on the day bed at the window, playing at reading but really just staring out into nothing. He'll miss hours like that, lost in his own head rather than interacting with his current reality.]
hewhofightsmonsters: (100)

[personal profile] hewhofightsmonsters 2014-09-22 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[That smile makes him flush, now, a flutter rising in his chest, so he looks away, setting his book down and curling up more tightly. He's given up on trying to escape, and he's given up on trying to be strong. It doesn't matter anymore. Felid can see him look a wreck all he wants.]

Whenever you last brought me something, obviously. I don't keep track.

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hewhofightsmonsters: (100)

[personal profile] hewhofightsmonsters 2015-01-28 01:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[What's that saying about the road to hell again?

Ah, yes. He started out mostly alright, and of course he genuinely wanted (and wants) to make things right, but exercising the power of essentially, a god, is a little difficult to deal with, emotionally. Yes, the war needed to be won as quickly and efficiently as possible. Yes, the world needs someone strong and firm to organize as it puts itself back together. But one man disappearing for a short while and coming back with the power to instantly decimate his enemies is a terrifying thing, and it's hard for people to truly trust and welcome a leader like that. It's hard to rule by anything but fear when one has gone beyond the realms of power natural to the world one lives in.

But he's tried. And maybe it's worn on him, and maybe it's gotten out of hand here and there, and maybe he's frayed at the edges. But he always knew he was looking for a drastic answer when he went to Court, so he can't complain. He just trusts his friends to keep him feeling grounded.

And, somehow, Felid Bathory of all people is numbered one of them. He just... couldn't kill him, in the end. He should have. He had all right to. But the very act of giving up the power of Queen made it impossible. That this Felid, without his memories, was a person who trusted Glen enough to do that -- that he was unselfish enough to be willing to give it up at all -- put a weight in Glen's gut that left him unable to carry out that "wedding vow", when he could just as easily ensure that the old Felid didn't come back instead. And wasn't that a victory in itself? He could just tell himself that he'd killed the Felid that hurt him. He humiliated him, in a way, by replacing him with someone different, who'd do what Glen said, who'd give up power and couldn't (wouldn't) hurt anyone anymore. That was good enough.

But it's still unsettling. It doesn't feel right, even two years later, but it feels better than the idea of murdering someone who doesn't know what they're being punished for, and who trusts him completely. So he only feels the slightest bit dissonant as he sits up this morning, like every morning, rubbing his eyes and reaching for the coffee with a sleepy grumble.]

How are you so cheerful in the morning? Shouldn't you be in a coffin somewhere?
hewhofightsmonsters: (010)

[personal profile] hewhofightsmonsters 2015-01-28 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
You're shameless.

[Honestly, sometimes he just wants to shout at Felid. To demand to know why he has to be so nice, so openly affectionate, when for such a large chunk of Glen's life he was a source of nothing but pain and hopelessness and degradation. It's not fair. But it's also something Glen did. He's the one that started it. He made this new Felid and he can't take it back. He should be grateful, honestly, for the confirmation that there's some seed of something of worth inside even the worst people.

But, truthfully, that's a bittersweet lesson. He'd rather have had the opposite proved, so he could hate fully and without hesitation. Instead this leaves him constantly questioning his actions, the destruction of the vampire species that he knows was, in reality, a brutal and spite-fueled genocide.

He hates it. It's hard to sleep at night, knowing that he, personally, is responsible not only for failing to prevent the decimation of humanity, but for actively destroying an entire other species, instead of using his power in some other, less violent manner. And that he also used it just as violently to put himself in power over other human organizations -- really, it's fair that people fear him. Did he do the right thing at all?

He stares into space for a moment as he thinks about it, then shuts himself down the same way he always does. Of course he did the right thing. He fixed it. He had to end things before the world could begin to recover. He did what he had to. It was reasonable--

He sighs, sips the coffee, and shrugs.]

And I'll sleep more when there's less work to do. You know that.

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hewhofightsmonsters: (046)

Re: court cont

[personal profile] hewhofightsmonsters 2015-07-07 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
No thank you.

[He strains at the pin, struggling just enough not to feel pathetic. Felid may note he's already scratched and bitten up, by normal human teeth and nails -- he's not the first one here tonight.]
hewhofightsmonsters: (101)

Re: court cont

[personal profile] hewhofightsmonsters 2015-07-07 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I can get my objectives done without you. I'm still going to win.

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browdown: (pic#9014470)

Re: court cont

[personal profile] browdown 2015-07-21 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ he's breathing hard and fast now, low pants to try to relax around the sudden intrusion but it's hard, when it's large -- larger than anything he's ever had in him before. he shifts, head tipping down again as he tries to ease the process. ]

Gh ...
culpa: (in a while i'll feel better。)

[personal profile] culpa 2015-07-21 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ it feels good to do what felid's saying--but that's so wrong. all of this is wrong. he's chewing on the inside of his cheek, biting down more than hard enough to bleed as he moves to push the vibrator in further, slowly.

and flips the switch. ]

no

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YOU GUYS

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ehuehue.

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befouled: (002)

[personal profile] befouled 2015-08-11 09:49 am (UTC)(link)
It's different, depending on my mood. Him pressing me against the bed, or me on top of him... We're smiling as we touch each other. You're probably dead somewhere.

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[personal profile] oppaiplsnerf 2016-02-08 01:02 pm (UTC)(link)


It's not that I don't appreciate you breaking up the monotony for me, but you're very much not supposed to be here?

[For all Felid's managed to get this far, the guard seems pretty calm about all this. He has a hand resting on the handle of his baton, but otherwise his body language is totally relaxed, or at least doing a very good impression of it.

His demeanor isn't necessarily friendly, for all it's not very aggressive. Mostly just... mildly interested?]

How about you put the knife back and we go from there?

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[personal profile] oppaiplsnerf 2016-02-08 01:14 pm (UTC)(link)


[It's pretty unfortunate. There's a transfer in the middle of the second semester, and the young man is having significant trouble fitting in. It's not that his classmates dislike him. Rather the issue seems to be that he doesn't like being so well-liked. Something about him seems to excite boys and girls alike. Maybe he's just broody and reclusive enough to be cool and fascinating, or maybe something about him seems to put them at ease. It seems to vary.

Regardless, he's a very good student, and there really isn't any special reason for the Lit teacher to take notice of him. Other than managing to keep up after such an untimely transfer, he's not outstanding, but lately he seems to have been zoning out in class, eyes glassily fixed on the instructor. Maybe it's worth pulling him aside?]

[personal profile] oppaiplsnerf 2016-02-08 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)


[It's unexpected, and he sits up as if shocked. There's some gentle ribbing from his classmates, which he brushes off with a shrug. Just reactive enough to be left well enough alone.

So he packs up, and waits for every other student to leave before rising from his seat and moving to the front of the classroom.]

Did you need something, Sensei?

[He's just flushed enough for a vampire like Felid to notice, caught between fancy and the thought he's in trouble, racking his brains for what he might have done wrong.]

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