loveschildren | (no subject)

Then pretend for a while, if only to feel less lonely.

[Felid leans into the touch, cuddly and more than a little affectionate. It'd be easy to accept that really, if Glen weren't so stubborn.]

[He's made of stubbornness, sadly. But he can pretend, wrapping his arms around Felid's neck and resting his forehead against his. It's not that different from all the years he spent insisting that it was fine to give himself up, as long as it was his choice. This is just another form of selling himself for his own gain. Right? Right. If he closes his eyes he can tell himself he's just coping. Biding his time. He just needs to keep himself together til he gets a chance to get away.]

Please stop talking about it for now. I have to work up to that much bullshitting.

As you wish, Glen dear.

[He strokes his fingers through Glen's hair, perfectly content with Glen's response, wrapping his arms around the man and letting this cute little scene continue without further comment to ruin it.]

[He stays there, quiet, not looking, and lets himself drift again, mentally. He tries to imagine it's somewhere else and something else, and gradually he relaxes. It's fine. This is fine. He's just letting himself feel good, indulging in the touch and the smell and the presence of someone he loves. For the moment he can edit out the fact that it's also someone he loathes, and kiss him gently.]

[Well if you squint and tilt your head and try really hard--it'll still be Felid kissing you back. But he's being good, not talking, letting the kiss be passionate but not terribly demanding, keeping Glen close with arms around him, leaning over him and generally being terribly romantic in his mannerisms.]

[It's definitely still Felid. But Glen's getting really good at tricking himself -- or more accurately he's just already gone far enough out of his mind that it's not too hard to just wander off into a place where this doesn't bother him. In that place, all he feels is the pleasant warmth that comes with pressing up against Felid, holding on tight and kissing him til he's breathless and openly wanting.]

[Glen drifting off into not caring is a sweet victory, and Felid trails his fingers down the man's chest, following with kisses to Glen's neck, lightly biting at the skin for a little more excitement and stimulation, humming his pleasure at Glen's willingness before biting down just a little harder.]

[He doesn't bother to stifle his reaction, moaning softly at the bites and clinging, dragging his fingernails down Felid's back. It's alright, just to feel the physical pleasure. A little something good counters everything that's terrible if he just lets it, and helps him keep afloat.]

[He doesn't let up, picking Glen up and taking him to his sulking pile of pillows, laying him down and lavishing kisses along his neck, down his chest when he rids Glen of his shirt.]

Ah-- Wait--

[No, he doesn't want to ruin his sulking spot, he knows that much. But he also doesn't want to break the spell of not-miserable he's put on himself, so he doesn't protest very hard, just putting his hands against Felid's chest and not quite relaxing, even while he still gasps at Felid's kisses.]

[Of course it's deliberate, he's a cat. He wants to shed all over the thing Glen doesn't want him to shed on. He leans back and kisses Glen's fingers, his palm, licks his wrists and bites instead of backing off or waiting, but it feels nice and it;s gentle.]

Felid--

[It'd been way too long since he'd had this kind of touch, before Felid brought him here. Things with Mahiru weren't so sweet, and other than her his experience was, with a few exceptions, mainly Felid being rough and violent. Eight years of that and it's no wonder he caves so quickly to being treated gently, attentively, like he's cared for, even when it's a lie. He tugs at Felid's shirt, squirming and letting his free hand slide down just a little. His face is deeply flushed and it's hard to concentrate on caring where they are, so long as he feels good and wanted and not awful for once.]

[Felid can be a gentle lover when he wants, as he demonstrates, unbuttoning his own shirt for Glen with a deep, throaty chuckle and kissing the inside of Glen's elbow, moving forward to kneel over the man, kissing him again, warm and passionate, trailing affectionate touches along Glen's skin as he undresses him.]

How beautiful you are.

[He whispers soft endearments to Glen, what any lover would say to make their partner feel wanted and special.]

I thought I wasn't, anymore.

[He can't resist making a crack, but he's leaning into Felid's kiss and Felid's touches at the same time. His own hands are far more caring than they used to be as he slides his palms over Felid's chest and shoulders, pushing his shirt off as he goes and taking his time to feel his skin in a way he never would have before.]

[He feels nice, soft and smooth because he is far too fussy about his appearance. he nips Glen's lip for the sass, working at his belt and moving to kiss his neck, unhurried but not taking forever to get him naked, either.]

Don't ruin the moment.

You're-- mm... I want to move.

[He wants to do this in the real bed. It's just hard to concentrate on that when he's disconnected and feeling nice. He doesn't stop undressing Felid or responding to him, he just whines while he's doing it.]

Where?

[His mouth is preoccupied kissing and tasting Glen's skin, along his chest and ribs, so his words might be muffled.]

The bed.

[His fingers tangle in Felid's hair, holding him close as Glen's breath becomes ragged, chest heaving under Felid's lips.]

Is here not good enough?

[He licks at Glen's nipples, tugs his pants down and explores his skin gently with open palms.]

We're right in the window.

[That's a better excuse than just saying "I don't want to ruin my 'me zone'", right? Felid knows the truth, but voicing it will just egg him on, and Glen's already gasping and squirming and feeling both very turned on and very uncomfortable as it is. There's a definite inner tug of war between what he knows he really wants and what feels best right now, and he's really not too far from giving in and just hating himself later.]

No one will see.

[Felid knows exactly why Glen wants to move but he'll go along with the facade, that there's any other reason to protest then Glen simply wanting to keep a small area for himself. He ignores the real reason, addresses the fake one, and kisses his way down to Glen's hip, breath warm on his skin, hair tickling Glen as it falls around his shoulders.]

I just-- I want to.

[He pulls at Felid's hair, whining in protest and trying to steady his breath and his thoughts.]

I'm gonna pretend like you want. Just-- You pretend too. That means listening to me.

[Felid hums against Glen's skin, dragging his tongue along to taste him for a moment, biting enough to draw blood before pulling back.]

The bed then, dearest.

[He flinches at the bite, gently pushing Felid's face away and sliding out from under him now that he's sure he won't be stopped. But he lets his hand slide down his shoulder as he goes, and it's only a few steps to the bed, where he climbs in and reaches out for Felid to follow. Pretending is fine. He just needs it to be within certain limitations, certain guidelines, so he maintain his sense of self -- or rather, so he can choose to give that up slowly instead of violently and all at once.]

Don't be slow.

[Really it's better this way, Glen giving in willingly in little steps is so much sweeter than taking everything--he's had that, and he's seen how Glen breaks that way. So this is new, and exciting, stimulating. It's fun to watch Glen tell himself it's a lie but fall into enjoying it because he can't resist it, to see his sense of self erode with each little capitulation.]

[So he joins Glen on the bed, crawling on top of him with light caresses and kisses, all sweet and attentive.]

I'm not the one delaying us.