loveschildren | (no subject)

[He drops his face to Felid's shoulder, needing to hold on and wanting to push away at the same time. He doesn't want to hear that from Felid. It's not true. What is true is twisted and wrong, nothing like what he actually wants and needs, and knowing it satisfies something inside of him just makes that all the worse. He'd thought the torture was bad, but this is a worse pain than anything physical could possibly do.]

Please stop.

[He cups Glen's face and brings it up to his, kissing him softly on the lips, on the jaw, fangs scraping skin in passing, just unavoidably.]

Glen.

[He whispers the name with soft, warm affection. His voice gentle and mild and amused and sinister all at once, full of layers of emotion, easy to listen to easier to believe. He sounds so much like he means it, on some level he does, Glen IS important to him.]

Glen I do need you. Don't leave me, be only mine and be happy again. I know it's been hard on you, and I'm very cruel, but I want you.

[Nonononono. No. He can't handle it at all, and retreats by shrinking back against the couch, making himself as small as he can with Felid still on top of him and pressing his hands over his ears. It's painful, and all he can think is how badly he just wants to go home.]

I'd rather see you dead.

Glen...

[He drags Glen into a kiss.]

[This one he dodges. He's trying to hunker down and shut him out, because there's no other way he knows how to respond to inescapable and overwhelming emotional trauma. He would like to not be in his own head anymore right now thanks, and over the last month this kind of episode has not been entirely uncommon.]

Shh, shh it's okay.

[He pets him, soothingly.]

[He can be petted, he's still going to shut off for awhile.]

Glen, come back.

[He stays spaced out for a bit, then suddenly snaps back into himself with a start. Like always, he looks a little lost for a second, before it sets in that yes, he just blanked out again. This is not new. This is just a part of his severely damaged mental process these days.]

...Ah.

I'm worried about you.

[Soft, gentle, murmured into Glen's ear as he pulls Glen to his chest.]

[He doesn't resist, but he does tense up, a ball of discomfort in Felid's arms.]

No you're not.

I am. Deny me all you want but I do have feelings for you. I want you to stop being so depressed, it's worrying. I want you with me for a long, long, long time.

I'll kill both of us before I stay with you that long. You're never going to get me to be happy with you.

That's so overdramatic.

Almost as dramatic as the way you dress.

[sass: intact]

Well you aren't completely out of your mind yet.

[He settles, kissing Glen's neck fondly and leaning against him, just all warm, friendly physical contact, intimate and romantic and everything Glen should enjoy with someone he's in love with but.]

[Of course it feels wonderful and terrible all at once. He wants to throw up. But he wants to press against Felid, too, and that part wins out. He'll take this. He just doesn't want to hear those affectionate words.]

I'm getting there.

Keep your sanity Glen. You don't want to become a demon.

[He practically purrs as Glen presses against him, hands wandering down to feel up Glen's chest, just casually intimate.]

It's your fault if I lose it.

[He rests his hands on Felid's shoulders, not willing to reciprocate just yet. That feels too gross. He knows he'll end up doing it once he gets worked up, but he tries to hold off as long as he can.]

You could just let me be nice to you. You're so resistant even to me pampering you.

Because it's disgusting.

You enjoy it when you give in.

And then I have to go dry heave for an hour.

Maybe you should stop resisting so hard. It's bad for your health.

You want me, admit it.

I know I do. Because you fucked up my mind. And I still hate you just as much as always.