[Honestly, sometimes he just wants to shout at Felid. To demand to know why he has to be so nice, so openly affectionate, when for such a large chunk of Glen's life he was a source of nothing but pain and hopelessness and degradation. It's not fair. But it's also something Glen did. He's the one that started it. He made this new Felid and he can't take it back. He should be grateful, honestly, for the confirmation that there's some seed of something of worth inside even the worst people.
But, truthfully, that's a bittersweet lesson. He'd rather have had the opposite proved, so he could hate fully and without hesitation. Instead this leaves him constantly questioning his actions, the destruction of the vampire species that he knows was, in reality, a brutal and spite-fueled genocide.
He hates it. It's hard to sleep at night, knowing that he, personally, is responsible not only for failing to prevent the decimation of humanity, but for actively destroying an entire other species, instead of using his power in some other, less violent manner. And that he also used it just as violently to put himself in power over other human organizations -- really, it's fair that people fear him. Did he do the right thing at all?
He stares into space for a moment as he thinks about it, then shuts himself down the same way he always does. Of course he did the right thing. He fixed it. He had to end things before the world could begin to recover. He did what he had to. It was reasonable--
He sighs, sips the coffee, and shrugs.]
And I'll sleep more when there's less work to do. You know that.
There will never be less work to do. Especially when you don't let other people do it. Honestly Glen, it's like you're a masochist. Or you especially enjoy punishing yourself.
[Felid leans back on the bed, watching Glen between his spacing out and his sipping his coffee. He's a different person in a way, his expressions softer and more genuine and his emotions right on the surface, eager to see the world and to be accepted in it, there aren't walls or guards on his heart around Glen, which is probably the more cutting. But he's still got sharp eyes and sometimes he looks at Glen almost like he used to, calculating. But not with malice, now. Just thoughtfulness. He hasn't learned malice yet, himself, not with Glen so careful to keep it from him.]
[Instead he knows a world where he's regarded with suspicion but kept, mostly, isolated from the general public. Kept at Glen's side, but not content there. Much as he adores Glen.]
Take a day off. You've worked hard, let someone else handle today's affairs. There's nothing that really needs you right now, let's go do something interesting for once.
[Boredom. The world is new and wondrous to him in a way, and he's bored. He wants to explore. He wants to meet people. He is not a man designed to while the hours quietly. And he's smart, observant, he sees how much Glen takes on without sharing it. How his shoulders sag and his world seems a heavy one. But why should it be? There's no more conflict, Glen has power no one can challenge, Felid just can't understand not enjoying himself more.]
[He hardly knows the definition anymore. He hardly had since he was a kid. But he can hear the edge of boredom in Felid's voice, and that scares him. He can't let that happen. He needs to keep him busy and happy, or risk regretting sparing his life in a horrible way. A Felid with nothing to do will find something to do.
He's tried to keep him content at home, but perhaps it's time to let him broaden his horizons. Has it been long enough for him to be really attached? Does he feel part of this world and this life, these people, enough not to destroy it? They'll have to find out. Glen puts the cup aside, pushing his hair out of his face and trying to think of what they can do that might spawn a perfectly harmless hobby.]
I can't help it. The world is very exciting. You forget that all the time, mister jaded and grumpy.
[He pinches Glen's cheek and hops up eagerly, all the same, clearly super invested in the idea of going out. He really is quite oddly innocent and too curious and too smart and excited about everything. Just like when he had memories very little seems to stem his enthusiasm and enjoyment, but it's genuine now, and a bit dangerous. He reads voraciously and watches and listens just as attentively, and his attachment to Glen may be real, maybe even his attachment to others, but his grasp of morality is still untested.]
You carry a dark cloud with you, sunshine will do you good I'm sure. I read that humans need a lot of vitamin D or they get depressed.
[He frowns, rubbing his cheek and almost pouting as he watched Felid. Really, that enthusiasm is at once infectious and a little annoying. He doesn't know what to do with it. He's a little afraid of it, too -- of the possibility of what it could become. He knows all too well what could happen if Felid learned again what darker types of "fun" there are out there. But it's Glen's job to teach him to value other things first and foremost, so he grudgingly slides out of bed and goes to get dressed.]
Yeah, yeah. And sunshine will fry you, so don't forget your armband.
[Whether or not that's true who knows. Felid believes it is, and he watches Glen for a moment fondly, before turning with a bounce in his step to retire to his own room to get dressed. Because going out is ever so exciting and he's quite elated for it.]
[He'll probably wear something frilly and ribbony because apparently his taste just doesn't change. And he's back at Glen's doorway, properly attired and looking as perfectly pretty as ever, leaning in the doorway with a smile of excitement that just doesn't seem to have gone away since Glen agreed to go out. Maybe Glen didn't actually say he was agreeing but he was definitely agreeing.]
[Glen is nowhere near as fancy as Felid. His concession to not actually working is dressing down to just nice pants and a dress shirt, pocketing his phone (god cell service is nice) and contemplating if he's hungry enough to make Felid wait til he's had breakfast.]
...Yeah, I guess. Is there somewhere in particular you wanted to go?
[Just seeing people, experiencing things. Glen is a figure feared and hated by many and Felid is a vampire, equally loathed. Walking around isn't going to be that pleasant but Felid's interested in just. Seeing humanity.]
[He doesn't enjoy the scrutiny. The looks he can't ignore, even though most people are too afraid to actually do or say anything. Actual incidents are rare, but he can't escape the feeling of being separate from people, and it's painful. He can't blend in anymore, and he feels the massive gap between himself and the average person far too keenly.]
Why do you care? If people don't appreciate what you've done for them that is rather short-sighted of them. And maybe if they got to know you personally they'd see you differently.
It's natural to distrust someone who's killed as many people as I have. I am, technically, a dictator and a tyrant. It doesn't matter what my motives were or are if no one else has any say.
Well it certainly doesn't matter when you have that attitude about it, Mr. Grump. Let's go for a walk, if it's so gloomy it makes you look cheerful then you can decide what we do next.
[He never thought he'd see the day when Felid was trying to get him to cheer up. It's surreal. But he obviously just wants to go peoplewatch, so Glen gives up and just puts his shoes on.]
[He really is excited about it. He finds people fascinating but he has very little opportunity to interact with anyone not in Glen's inner circle. And less to interact with complete strangers, or to just watch people really. He likes being social, he likes observing, he likes interacting. So he loops his arm with Glen's and practically skips to lead them down the hall.]
[He doesn't think he'll ever get used to this version of Felid. The whole concept of a Felid Bathory who just wants to go for a walk and is dragging him around with no intent to mangle him any time today is, even two years along, just damned bizarre. But he supposes it's pretty nice, too, so he just goes along with it. He and Mikaela will just have to pinch each other (again) later.]
[Felid for his part just thinks the weird looks Glen gets sometimes are part of his personality. He's not stupid he has an inkling Glen was the one to remove his own memories, but Glen has never given Felid a reason to doubt Glen's claim of being his friend back then, and has never brought it up. It isn't important.]
[His boredom, though, is important. And taking a walk to watch people seems just the way to alleviate that even a bit.]
[Glen isn't beloved but there are those who appreciate him as the savior of the world. Whether with reverence or fear, their outing is greeted with attention, whether Glen wants that or not.]
[He doesn't. Or rather, he has mixed feelings. He can't deny he enjoys the feeling of power, of being revered and looked at as interesting and someone to be respected. But he doesn't like the fear, and the buzz that keeps him from ever really feeling like he has personal space in public. Being constantly watched is unsettling, and knowing he's "terrifying and horrible" to as many people as he is "amazing and cool" is not so fun. But he puts up with it, steeling himself against the looks and the mutters and making himself look like he doesn't really care, just paying attention to Felid and throwing a casual wave if anyone tries to address him directly.]
[Felid for his part is enjoying himself immensely, watching people more than attempting to interact with them, generally delighted to just. Stop and observe this or that interaction before people notice Glen and things get strange and they have to move on.]
You really are quite popular.
[He stops by a playground, leaning on a rail to watch the children as he comments to Glen, after they've been stared at for nearly a block.]
[Now that's a sight. He kind of wants to urge Felid on, but he doesn't want to have to explain why. So he just tries to carefully watch how Felid watches, while seeming like he's not watching at all.]
[He watches... Too avidly. Too much interest in the children to be really... Healthy. But for now he doesn't, and hasn't exactly, discovered his own tastes. There's still something there though, too sharp and too intent and it's disturbing and gross if you have any idea what it can turn into. To anyone else it might just be mildly creepy or unsettling.]
But is this really what you wanted with your power?
[Well it works, he tears his eyes from the children and trots along after Glen like a good dog. Obedient only because he literally doesn't know better. What a dangerous pet you keep, Glen. It's something he'd say, if he knew to say it.]
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[Honestly, sometimes he just wants to shout at Felid. To demand to know why he has to be so nice, so openly affectionate, when for such a large chunk of Glen's life he was a source of nothing but pain and hopelessness and degradation. It's not fair. But it's also something Glen did. He's the one that started it. He made this new Felid and he can't take it back. He should be grateful, honestly, for the confirmation that there's some seed of something of worth inside even the worst people.
But, truthfully, that's a bittersweet lesson. He'd rather have had the opposite proved, so he could hate fully and without hesitation. Instead this leaves him constantly questioning his actions, the destruction of the vampire species that he knows was, in reality, a brutal and spite-fueled genocide.
He hates it. It's hard to sleep at night, knowing that he, personally, is responsible not only for failing to prevent the decimation of humanity, but for actively destroying an entire other species, instead of using his power in some other, less violent manner. And that he also used it just as violently to put himself in power over other human organizations -- really, it's fair that people fear him. Did he do the right thing at all?
He stares into space for a moment as he thinks about it, then shuts himself down the same way he always does. Of course he did the right thing. He fixed it. He had to end things before the world could begin to recover. He did what he had to. It was reasonable--
He sighs, sips the coffee, and shrugs.]
And I'll sleep more when there's less work to do. You know that.
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[Felid leans back on the bed, watching Glen between his spacing out and his sipping his coffee. He's a different person in a way, his expressions softer and more genuine and his emotions right on the surface, eager to see the world and to be accepted in it, there aren't walls or guards on his heart around Glen, which is probably the more cutting. But he's still got sharp eyes and sometimes he looks at Glen almost like he used to, calculating. But not with malice, now. Just thoughtfulness. He hasn't learned malice yet, himself, not with Glen so careful to keep it from him.]
[Instead he knows a world where he's regarded with suspicion but kept, mostly, isolated from the general public. Kept at Glen's side, but not content there. Much as he adores Glen.]
Take a day off. You've worked hard, let someone else handle today's affairs. There's nothing that really needs you right now, let's go do something interesting for once.
[Boredom. The world is new and wondrous to him in a way, and he's bored. He wants to explore. He wants to meet people. He is not a man designed to while the hours quietly. And he's smart, observant, he sees how much Glen takes on without sharing it. How his shoulders sag and his world seems a heavy one. But why should it be? There's no more conflict, Glen has power no one can challenge, Felid just can't understand not enjoying himself more.]
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[He hardly knows the definition anymore. He hardly had since he was a kid. But he can hear the edge of boredom in Felid's voice, and that scares him. He can't let that happen. He needs to keep him busy and happy, or risk regretting sparing his life in a horrible way. A Felid with nothing to do will find something to do.
He's tried to keep him content at home, but perhaps it's time to let him broaden his horizons. Has it been long enough for him to be really attached? Does he feel part of this world and this life, these people, enough not to destroy it? They'll have to find out. Glen puts the cup aside, pushing his hair out of his face and trying to think of what they can do that might spawn a perfectly harmless hobby.]
Taking you out is work too. You're too excitable.
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[He pinches Glen's cheek and hops up eagerly, all the same, clearly super invested in the idea of going out. He really is quite oddly innocent and too curious and too smart and excited about everything. Just like when he had memories very little seems to stem his enthusiasm and enjoyment, but it's genuine now, and a bit dangerous. He reads voraciously and watches and listens just as attentively, and his attachment to Glen may be real, maybe even his attachment to others, but his grasp of morality is still untested.]
You carry a dark cloud with you, sunshine will do you good I'm sure. I read that humans need a lot of vitamin D or they get depressed.
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Yeah, yeah. And sunshine will fry you, so don't forget your armband.
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[Whether or not that's true who knows. Felid believes it is, and he watches Glen for a moment fondly, before turning with a bounce in his step to retire to his own room to get dressed. Because going out is ever so exciting and he's quite elated for it.]
[He'll probably wear something frilly and ribbony because apparently his taste just doesn't change. And he's back at Glen's doorway, properly attired and looking as perfectly pretty as ever, leaning in the doorway with a smile of excitement that just doesn't seem to have gone away since Glen agreed to go out. Maybe Glen didn't actually say he was agreeing but he was definitely agreeing.]
Are you ready?
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...Yeah, I guess. Is there somewhere in particular you wanted to go?
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[Just seeing people, experiencing things. Glen is a figure feared and hated by many and Felid is a vampire, equally loathed. Walking around isn't going to be that pleasant but Felid's interested in just. Seeing humanity.]
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[He doesn't enjoy the scrutiny. The looks he can't ignore, even though most people are too afraid to actually do or say anything. Actual incidents are rare, but he can't escape the feeling of being separate from people, and it's painful. He can't blend in anymore, and he feels the massive gap between himself and the average person far too keenly.]
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Or do you want to be feared, and aloof?
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Fine, fine. A walk.
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[He really is excited about it. He finds people fascinating but he has very little opportunity to interact with anyone not in Glen's inner circle. And less to interact with complete strangers, or to just watch people really. He likes being social, he likes observing, he likes interacting. So he loops his arm with Glen's and practically skips to lead them down the hall.]
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[His boredom, though, is important. And taking a walk to watch people seems just the way to alleviate that even a bit.]
[Glen isn't beloved but there are those who appreciate him as the savior of the world. Whether with reverence or fear, their outing is greeted with attention, whether Glen wants that or not.]
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You really are quite popular.
[He stops by a playground, leaning on a rail to watch the children as he comments to Glen, after they've been stared at for nearly a block.]
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Being world dictator does that.
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[He watches... Too avidly. Too much interest in the children to be really... Healthy. But for now he doesn't, and hasn't exactly, discovered his own tastes. There's still something there though, too sharp and too intent and it's disturbing and gross if you have any idea what it can turn into. To anyone else it might just be mildly creepy or unsettling.]
But is this really what you wanted with your power?
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[He can also deal with this problem by walking away and expecting Felid to follow him. Let's go hat shopping or something.]
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So you aren't really happy.
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