loveschildren | (no subject)

You should ask for more. In fact, you should demand it.

Didn't I already say that's not how it works?

[He snaps a little, unnerved by the edge in Felid's voice. He doesn't want to encourage that kind of thinking. If he can help it at all, he wants to train this version of him into different values. Because if he doesn't, at least a little, their relationship is bound to end painfully.]

Again, I don't see why. Look around, some people adore you, others hate, but they all fear you. The people you love don't look at you that way, but even with them you're on guard, and with me all the more. You never relax. You enjoy yourself, sometimes, but there's always a piece of you held back.

Maybe that's just how I am. Not all of us can be carefree and self-centered.

Maybe losing your memories would have benefited you more than I.

Being willing to abuse power isn't a good trait, Felid. I want you to rethink that sentiment.

Would being happy be such an abuse, Glen?

Saying things like demanding what you want regardless of being hated is abuse of power, no matter what it might get you personally.

You're already hated, I'm just saying you might as well be happy.

...You really don't get it at all.

[And honestly repeatedly being reminded that he's hated and feared is painful. All this time he blamed the circumstances of his birth for the loathing that was thrown at him. But now he's on top of the world -- no one can challenge him, no one would dare to throw soda bottles at him now, or call him or his friends and family garbage -- and he feels just as alienated and despised as ever. But he can't expect Felid to grasp that kind of feeling when he can't even grasp the concept of not trampling on others, so he just shuts it off and walks on ahead, clearly done with the discussion.]

No. I suppose not.

[He follows, and at least it seems his own mood is dampened by Glen's. If he were his old self he'd laugh and enjoy Glen's pain but now it actually does trouble him. He may not particularly understand Glen's position, but he does genuinely want Glen to be happy. Which is downright weird.]

[It is weird. Glen doesn't know what to do with it. How is Felid capable of actual attachment but so incapable of understanding basic compassion? It's... odd. But Felid's an odd person, and Glen's odd in plenty of ways himself. Just not generally ways that involve the sort of awful cruelty that Felid's prone to left to develop on his own. Glen would like to turn that nicer bit of Felid's personality into a bigger influence on the whole, but at the moment he kind of just wants to go home, so he's heading back that way. Screw going out, unless he's dragged out more. He wants to hole up in his office and not come out until he passes out.]

Are you heading back already?

[He wants to stay out. He's so damnably bored and people are so much more interesting up close.]

I don't know. Is there something you want to do or not? Because I'd rather work than walk around having this kind of conversation in public.

[He is a little pissy. He's tempted to tell Felid to go run around on his own, but that's also a terrible idea. Why does he have to be... himself?]

Go back to your hiding from the public eye then, I'll amuse myself.

[It's something of a test of the boundaries Glen will allow him. After all, technically he isn't a prisoner right? Yet Glen has never really let him explore on his own. He supposes he could do it anyway, if he wanted, but thus far it hasn't really appealed to him to oppose Glen so strongly.]

[He can't exactly tell him no. He doesn't want Felid to know exactly how afraid Glen is to let him be alone. Part of the illusion of kindness they have between them relies on Felid never knowing there's anything but a positive relationship to begin with, so he can't go letting him think Glen's outright grounding him. But at the same time he is afraid to leave him on his own, so what should he do?

He pauses for a moment, then sighs and shakes his head. He can't keep it up forever. He knows Felid's too smart not to notice he's restricted. And besides, Glen's too strong to worry about a single vampire now. He'll have to consider this a test. If Felid can't handle not being chaperoned for a few hours without going back to his old behavior after this long, he probably never will be manageable, and Glen might as will call the project a bust. Right?

Right.]

Fine. Be back by dinnertime or I'll think you fell in a well.

Yes, dear.

[Felid laughs, a little giddy with freedom and waves at Glen over his shoulder as he turns to go.]

One of these days you should learn to enjoy yourself.

[It is hours before he finds his way back to Glen's offices. Interacting with people is amazing, delightful really, even though most outright treat him with suspicion and resentment, after all the fangs aren't subtle. He wanders, observes, and even makes some daisy crowns with children, wearing one and bestowing one on Glen when he returns, looking as flushed and excited and happy as a child after a long play himself. Paying no heed to whatever stress Glen might be in.]

[He is moderately stressed yes. He always is at work, because he's stubborn and demands to do as much of the actual paperwork as possible. Glen is not one of those people in power who leaves the ruling to the aides. Nope, he's in his office dawn til late into the night most days trying to manage the world he's in charge of. So of course that's what he's doing, and he scowls at the sudden intrusion of the flower crown. But he doesn't immediately pull it off, so there's a victory in that.]

Had fun, did you?

Loads. You should have come, really, it would have done you good.

[He leans on Glen, draping familiarly.]