loveschildren | (no subject)

It's your fault if I lose it.

[He rests his hands on Felid's shoulders, not willing to reciprocate just yet. That feels too gross. He knows he'll end up doing it once he gets worked up, but he tries to hold off as long as he can.]

You could just let me be nice to you. You're so resistant even to me pampering you.

Because it's disgusting.

You enjoy it when you give in.

And then I have to go dry heave for an hour.

Maybe you should stop resisting so hard. It's bad for your health.

You want me, admit it.

I know I do. Because you fucked up my mind. And I still hate you just as much as always.

So touchy. It happened, and here we are. Make the best of it.

I'm not going to accept it just because it's already happened. People fall out of love.

So you're holding out to force yourself to stop having feelings for me?

I'll stop having feelings for you no matter what. You're repulsive. It's just a matter of waiting for myself to get back to normal.

Glen, darling, you're so stubborn.

So are you. If you want to fuck that's fine, but I'm not going to accept loving you.

I like you loving me. It makes me happy to have someone at my side like you. It's... new.

I don't want you to be happy. I want you to die suffering.

I know. Honestly Glen. I'm not exactly surrounded by friends either. We're both essential alone here, can't we enjoy each other's company?

Maybe you'd have more friends if you weren't the type to piss off everyone around you. Do your fellow socialites know who I am? Do you think they'll believe my allegiance is anywhere but with my own people?

Do you plan to expose us then?

I'm saying if they already know it's no wonder they think you're annoying. But if "exposing us" is a risk then sure, I will.

[He has a death wish what do you think he'll do?]

Really Glen don't be dull. I don't play the court game that badly. Even if you stood on the roof and shouted the superiority of humans the worst you'd get me is a headache from the council. Go ahead, if you want to, maybe you'll make friends with the livestock.

You could visit them if you like, the humans who make our meals.

[That catches his interest for a moment. But he shoves it down -- he can't help anyone. He knows that. And would they even accept it from him as he is now, if he tried?]

I'd rather not waste my time.

You've given up but you won't give in to me... Honestly.

[He shoves Glen lightly back against the couch.]

Look at me Glen.

[He obediently makes eye contact, giving Felid the most openly hateful stare he can manage. It's hard, when that face makes his heart break. But the anger and fear and resentment that it inspires aren't gone, so he can still summon them up. It's just a terrible contrast.]

[He takes Glen's hands in his and puts them around his own neck, holding his hands lightly.]

If you really, truly want to kill me, go for it. My sword's in reach even.

[Oh.

He didn't expect that. And he didn't expect his own reaction to it. Murderous intent is there in droves, and thrill at the idea of getting the hell away from Felid, finally, for good. But along with that comes terror, at the idea of losing him and at the thought of being the one to do it. He wants him gone. He wants to get away from him. But presented with the opportunity to do it, his hands shake and his face pales, and his heart races in both excitement and horror.

It's a bit too much from different angles. He's not stable enough for it right now, so his breathing becomes shallow and sharp, his thoughts losing coherency in the face of the emotional war between blackest hate and complete infatuation.

In the end though, he clamps down, not as hard as he could, but plenty enough to be nasty. It's just that he knows he won't have the strength to reach for that sword no matter what.]