loveschildren | (no subject)

One might say you make an impression.

[He watches... Too avidly. Too much interest in the children to be really... Healthy. But for now he doesn't, and hasn't exactly, discovered his own tastes. There's still something there though, too sharp and too intent and it's disturbing and gross if you have any idea what it can turn into. To anyone else it might just be mildly creepy or unsettling.]

But is this really what you wanted with your power?

It's what I needed to do. I can deal with the consequences, like them or not.

[He can also deal with this problem by walking away and expecting Felid to follow him. Let's go hat shopping or something.]

[Well it works, he tears his eyes from the children and trots along after Glen like a good dog. Obedient only because he literally doesn't know better. What a dangerous pet you keep, Glen. It's something he'd say, if he knew to say it.]

So you aren't really happy.

Did you expect me to be?

I'd hoped you'd find happiness with your goals.

My goals weren't about my happiness. I didn't expect to be happy at the end.

...Anyway, happiness is more complicated than that. It's not something to just grant yourself. If you even could.

I don't see why it shouldn't be that simple. You run the world, Glen.

There's been plenty of unhappy rulers in history, Felid.

Why not do things to benefit your happiness though? You've done enough for the people, do some for yourself. What will anyone do, hate you? Try to depose you? You can't be beaten anyway, you might as well enjoy yourself.

[God he really is Felid. That never changes and will never change, and it leaves Glen unsettled, constantly nervous of if and when it'll cross the line to real trouble. He glances at him a moment, quiet, then shoves his hands in his pockets and sighs.]

Happiness doesn't work that way. There's nothing I want that I could use my power to take, and if I tried I'd only make myself more unhappy.

[He reaches over and fluffs Glen's hair, obviously fond.]

Well what is it you want?

[Old Felid was fond too. Glen leans away from that with a grumble, trying to remind himself that it's most definitely a different kind of fondness this time. He can tell that much. He's smarter about that kind of thing these days, slightly.]

Don't worry about it. I'm fine enough.

But I am worried.

[Both Felid's obviously want in Glen's pants too but at least this one is polite and accepts rejection.]

And I'm fine. I have everything I really need.

Except lasting happiness.

I have happy times. I have things and people I care about. That's better than a lot of people. I'm not asking for more than that.

You should ask for more. In fact, you should demand it.

Didn't I already say that's not how it works?

[He snaps a little, unnerved by the edge in Felid's voice. He doesn't want to encourage that kind of thinking. If he can help it at all, he wants to train this version of him into different values. Because if he doesn't, at least a little, their relationship is bound to end painfully.]

Again, I don't see why. Look around, some people adore you, others hate, but they all fear you. The people you love don't look at you that way, but even with them you're on guard, and with me all the more. You never relax. You enjoy yourself, sometimes, but there's always a piece of you held back.

Maybe that's just how I am. Not all of us can be carefree and self-centered.

Maybe losing your memories would have benefited you more than I.

Being willing to abuse power isn't a good trait, Felid. I want you to rethink that sentiment.

Would being happy be such an abuse, Glen?

Saying things like demanding what you want regardless of being hated is abuse of power, no matter what it might get you personally.

You're already hated, I'm just saying you might as well be happy.